Nemaline Myopathy

What the heck is the above?

i finally got the report from my biopsy done 5 years ago. i guess the doc could tell tt i wasn't very happy tt i was unceremoniously discharged from the clinic, with no idea of what had (in my case, had NOT been) established. n that was after how tings were blown so out of prop tt my parents thot tt any minute i wld b ending up in a wheelchair?

i must hv u guys analyse wat the report says, i.e. put it into layman terms for me. i can't make sense of the report, other than for the key words, like 'inconclusive', 'no evidence', 'not possible to confirm'.

sheesh, any minute now, i would start embarking on a hate campaign against docs. it's precisely y we dun noe, which is y we have approached the 'professionals'. at the very least, these purported professionals can cum up with a report to present to the patient and family, so tt we would not b at a loose end over here. in this respect, i seriously tink S'pore docs shld buck up. n i completely agree with the article in Sunday Times about docs being insensitive.

how does it feel like to b told over the fone, 'we found sth abnormal in yr blood. u hv to cum in ASAP!'. even the most confident and steadfast of man will panic at tis. for another e.g., my uncle (who had since passed away) was told pointblank tt he had cancer n he would not survive more than 3 mths.

HELLO? we r humans here...i noe docs hv targets to mit, endless patients to c, but it wun harm anyone to b alittle bit more humane in breaking the news?

i hv since cum to tis conclusion: we must b very confident of ourselves and hv faith in our bodies. once we succumb to the worst case scenario as depicted by the docs, we would start worrying incessantly n tt's no way to live a life. confidence once shaken is hard to rebuild, n i m happy to say tt hving learnt my lesson from 5 yrs ago, i prepared myself mentally b4 walking in the doors of the clinic todae.

i asked smart qns, nor did i waver at his qns. at the end of the visit, he had not told me anything tt i didn't noe. wat i did gain was the report tt they owed me 5 yrs back!

though he has not yet written the reply letter to the official medical provider, i believe tt all's fine. My condition has not deteroriated from 5 years ago, if u believe wat the doc said. my new job shld b safe n in the bag.

in other news, i am informed tt i shld b joining the workplace of where aki's bf is currently on attachment at. (yah, i noe i spelt out in a not-too-direct manner, but i didn't want to spell tings out tt clearly...just in case.)

Thoughts on the Personality Tests

This wave of personality tests came at the right time...perhaps i hv been bluffing myself and the others around me. perhaps i didn't even noe tt i was doing so.

These personality tests would have their benefits only if we search within ourselves and realise the truth - wat our inner self has been crying out all along, tt we may hv been ignoring. so for the -ve traits, work hard to eradicate them. if they can't b eradicated, so b it too.

more than just getting rid of -ve traits, b at peace with ourselves, for who we r: +ve, -ve traits and everything else.

Let's accept ourselves for who we really r!

Personality Test 3: The Colour Quiz

Now, for the most dramatic result..dun b shocked!

Your Existing Situation
Needs peace and quiet. Desires a close and faithful partner from whom to demand special consideration and unquestioning affection. If these requirements are not met, is liable to turn away and withdraw altogether.


Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Feels lonely and uncertain as she has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and wants to stand out from the rank and file. This sense of isolation magnifies the need into a compelling urge, all the more upsetting to her self-sufficiency because of the restraint she normally imposes on herself. Since she wants to demonstrate the unique quality of her own character, she tries to suppress this need for others and affects an attitude of unconcerned self-reliance to conceal her fear of inadequacy, treating those who criticize her behavior with contempt. However, beneath this assumption of indifference she really longs for the approval and esteem of others.


Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels she is receiving less than her share, but that she will have to conform and make the best of her situation.



Your Desired Objective
Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermining others' confidence in herself.


Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.


Your Actual Problem #2
Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to stress and anxiety. She wants congenial contact with others and scope for development, but feels that her relationships are empty and her progress impeded. She reacts with an intense and zealous activity designed to achieve her aims at all costs.

Personality Test 2: ENFJ

Your Type is
ENFJ
Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
56 12 25 22

http://keirsey.com/personality/nfej.html

http://typelogic.com/enfj.html

You are:

moderately expressed extrovert

slightly expressed intuitive personality

moderately expressed feeling personality

slightly expressed judging personality

Personality Test 1: Types 1, 3 and 5

i hv a split personality..out of the 9 types, 3 came out with the same results for me..so i am all 3 types combined:

5 points:
Type 1: The Reformer http://www.9types.com/descr/1/
Type 3: The Motivator http://www.9types.com/descr/3/
Type 4: The Artist http://www.9types.com/descr/4/

2 points:
Type 6: The Skeptic http://www.9types.com/descr/6/

-1 point:
Type 2: The Helper http://www.9types.com/descr/2/
Type 7: The Generalist http://www.9types.com/descr/7/

-4 points:
Type 5: The Thinker http://www.9types.com/descr/5/
Type 8: The Leader http://www.9types.com/descr/8/

-7 points:
Type 9: The Peacemaker http://www.9types.com/descr/9/

Wowee...i can't believe this, but i feel that the personality test is unbelieveably accurate! I am really most like the top 3 types, and least like the last 3 types!! It's unbelievable!!! Be it the +ve or -ve traits, i can relate to most of them in the top 3 types!

On a side note, does the fact tt i display the characteristics of all 3 types manifest bcos i hvn't found wat i really want out of or in life? mayb i hvn't found my true calling yet...n i hvn't found peace within myself for the route tt i want to take.

Musical Baton

wow, kena arrowed..not good..it will show how suaku i am leh..aniwae, here goes. DON'T LAFF!!

Total volume of music files on the laptop:
286 MB, 183 songs

The last CD I bought was:
Some Deng Li Jun compilation of 4 (or was it 5?) CDs for my mum

Song playing right now:
Per Te, by Josh Groban

Five songs that I listen to a lot, or mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

1. (as above) Per Te. It makes me feel very intellectual and romantic mingled into one..=p may be a misconception. hahah..although i dun understand the words, i have been told it's on some unrequited love, not sure if it was a pining luv or watever.

2. 'Yong Qi' by Fish Leong, because i like the meaning behind the lyrics.

3. 'I Believe' be it the Korean or Chinese version. It's also a very inspiring song...Tune is good, lyrics too...movie is good too. hahah...

4. 'Castle on a Cloud', dun noe who sang it. Les Miserable musical. Act, i like the song 'on my own' too. mayb it's due to the fact that it was the very 1st musical i saw, and in london too..but it made an impact on me.

5. Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin, Deng Li Jun. Ok, i noe tis is so corny n all, but my mum keeps playing this whenever she's at home. n well, it's a pretty romantic song mah...not to say that Deng's voice is crystal clear, and there's tis melancholic sound to it.

Five people I'm passing the baton to:
1. Greenie: Trying not to repeat the ones who have been arrowed already.
2. Stef: I am sure you have alot to contribute, and not from the world of chinese pop!!
3. Watermelon gal: I'm sure you have lotsa Jay Chou songs to add...i.e. if u even read tis blog (n the others as well)
4. Nehzuhs: Trying to encourage you to write more in your blog...if not, yr blog wld b dead sooner or later. n mayb it will get yr mind off being cooped up at hm for a short while.
5. Prozac: wow us with yr collection of stef sun's songs...=p

Chocolate Buffet

Doesn't this sound good? We were talking about this the other day...so who's interested in going? (Btw, i will be off at 2.30pm this friday. If my med checkup etc go fast, i might be done by 4.30pm. shhh..dun tell anione, cos i told my mgr it will take a very long time..hahahha...)

~CITY OF CHOCOLATE~

A dine in event more than 50 Tantalising n Luscious creation over a 10 days event. EAT ALL U CAN!!

Food Menu: Dark chocalate, white chocolate, chocolate fondue fountain, fruits, marshmallows, choc biscuits, cookies, choc cake, cheese cake, ice cream cake, choc fried rice, choc bee hoon, choc pastries, puffs, waffles, pancake, brownies, dessert, snacks, ice cream, fruit punch, coffee n tea, etc.

And we'll invite a well known Thai sculptor to perform a chocolate sculptures during the event.

Venue: Timberlux Centre (former Zouk, mohd sultan)
326 Havelock Rd. Beside Riverview Hotel.

Date: May 22nd (Sun) -- 31st (Tue)

Time: 12 - 4pm / 6.30 - 10.30pm

Admission: $18 Adult $13 Child

PRE-SALES 5% DISCOUNT NOW!!

CANCELLED birthday celebration!

So sad...no birthday celebration for me le...i can't take leave on my birthday alr, cos when serving notice, we r not allowed to. so, rite now, there's a double loss...

1. my OT hours hv all been forfeited..n tt's like 10-11 daes OK!

2. even if i want to take the dae off on my bdae, i can't! as in it's not allowed, under the rules...this is even if i had put in the leave form BEFORE i had any intention to leave.

so well, i suppose it's not all tt bad, since i do hv the long wkend to enjoy my bdae still...so well..consolation?

aniwae, i hv handed in the official resignation form alr. tis is it..no turning back. the letter and a copy of it hv gone to the partner, HR and the managers. it's only a matter of time b4 the whole dpmt will hear about tis...rite now, i suppose they suspect, since i dun usually walk into the partner's rm. but no one is gg to ask me about it till i tell them.

on a brighter note, i handed in the letter of acceptance todae during lunch. i m happy to say tt my direct boss seems quite frenly, n there r a couple of uni frens i noe there! n we were saying hello n all..

oh yah, the tentative plan is for me to join them on 17 June! n i shld b sent to a ministry 1st up...hahaha...so exciting.

ok, aniwae, since the Fri bash is now CANCELLED, will u pple b free on SAT or MON? act, just tell me wat daes u pple can make it, n i will arrange my other appointments, since my frens from the other appointments told me that any dae is fine..hahaha...=)

Is there ever a RIGHT decision?

Is there such a thing as a RIGHT decision? if the decision is about sth tt will happen in the future, who's to know tt it's the 'right' decision? cos no one noes wat wld happen in the future.

in the same line of though as the previous post, i hv lightened up alot..cos i figured tt this move shld b a better one, not least cos it shld show off my abilities better n i m fighting on a fair ground, not like where i m presently.

rewarding based on experience alone isn't the most clever ting tt a company can based promotions on..but i suppose tis has always been the case n tt's how it will always b. well, i m challenging the status quo not by staying on, but by quitting. so tis is also an escapist route. not exactly clever too...

oh well, i supposed through everything i hv been saying, i was, am, and will b, trying to convince myself tt the decision tt i hv made is the correct one for a brighter future for myself.

but at the end of the day, i do realise that no matter how rite (or conversely, wrong) i may b, it's still my own decision n i hv to take accountability of it. so yes, definitely, there cannot b any rm for regrets!

So strive on, i will! Wish me luck! =)

Resignation

I really hate this feeling of being unsure..Yes, i know that i have done the ultimate and gave up on the race, but tt still doesn't eradicate how uncertain i feel about tis.

What if tis move is for the worse? What if i can't adapt to the pace over there? What if i absolutely hate my colleagues? Let it also be known tt the NEXT place is known for hiring only pple with gd honours..wat if i m stupider than i tink, n my academic results r just tt...gd to c on paper, but doesn't translate into true intelligence?

i noe i shldn't feel tis way, since i hv already made up my mind n there shld b no turning back. but then again, tink humans r constructed in such a way tt we will always wonder if the other alternative is better?

feeling a wee bit downcast now..not cos i made the wrong decision (since no one wld act noe until i join the NEXT place). just tt i hv never felt my confidence wavering so much b4..it's like i hv lotsa more to lose tis time round than all other times. it's not a mere interview tis time, 'if i got the job, fine, if not, it's also fine'. it has translated into much more than tt, cos i m banking my whole career n next half of my life on tis decision n it better work out. ok, i noe i m not bonded n all, n i m 'free as a bird' (to quote someone) to leave the NEXT place, but it wun b so nice to always leave rite? i mean, tis current job, i held it for like close to 1 yr..more like 10-11 mths after serving the notice period. not very nice to hv a record of always leaving after such a short while...

oh well, i hv no idea if tis is for the better or worse. can just pray n hope for the best...

in the meantime, pls rem tt i m on leave from wed till end of May. Pls ask me out!! =)

Airport Post

Dear Spinkypinkie,

Although i noe u wun c tis until u r back from japan, i shall just write aniwae.

i was lying when i said i wun mention anything about u 3 leaving for Japan, n only mentioning about edwin n his car in our blogs. hahaha..can't believe u believed it somehow? as evident by yr latest post.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rite, to the rest of the world, we sent them off yesterdae!! Greenie was so HIGH the whole time we were at the airport, tt she started jumping up n down, saying she's so excited!

i will leave how blur she was at one pt in time to Vin, who said he would definitely blog on tt, which also explains Greenie's latest post.

n spinkypinkie's whole family clan came to send her off, which made her remark tt it is 'stressful'.

n of cos, Aki's precious Liang came to send her off, along with her parents! apparently they did not hv their dinner yet or sth, so they were act holding pseudo-'Ya-Kun' bread in their hands while taking a pre-departure foto.

all the parents started exchanging no, cos they were telling the trio tt they can always just call one set of parents up, n tt set of parents will pass the msg on to the rest of them. so much planning...

ooh, n their grp, meaning greenie's frens n the trio act made up 1/3 of the grp!

in any case, u can tell how excited all of them were, if u read their latest posts.

felt abit down, cos i could act hv made it at tis time, if the bking wasn't done during my peak. but oh well, another time...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

in other news, i hv clocked up a grand total of 92.4hrs of OT (Vin, i forgot the exact no of hrs yesterdae. it's 92.4, not 94.2. hahah) This act means tt i hv more than 11 more days of leave to utilise, on top of my 15 days of leave. isn't tt cool??

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After the excitment of sending them off at the airport, edwin took vin n me out for dinner. we went to simpang bedok, to hv rotiprata and teh terik etc.

wat's exciting about tis is the journey in his car!!

the car is SO cool! we can practically sing ktv inside there, cos there r mini-screens! we didn't hv a mike, but hey, the inside of a car is so small tt we can hv surround-sound when we sing inside a car. So of cos no need for a mike!!

in other features of the car, we can control the soundtracks and/or tv channels via remote control. teletext is also within reach.

there's a leg rest rite at the front passenger seat, n we were joking tt the next feature added can b an OSIM i-Squeeze. hahahaha...

oh yah, the back passenger seats had features such as a tray for food n drinks.

n in the middle, there is tis slab of table. n vin n i were sitted on both side of it, with the mini-screen between us, which led me to remark tt with tea, or a game of miniature mahjong, we would be able to feel like real taitais!

in a sentence, we dun hv to get out of the car for entertainment. the car with all its features is exciting in itself!

Assortment of Posts

Lotsa stuff to mention suddenly...

I just discovered that i had better be more careful in what i m writing, cos i forgot who i told about the existence of my blog!! hahah...just discovered yesterdae over the fone that a fren (re: not from the usual gang) had been reading tis blog. *sweat* she didn't comment anything, so i didn't even suspect a thing. luckily, i didn't write anything about her bad habits or obnoxious character, yah? *winkz*

feel very indignant for all bloggers in Singapore. Suddenly, the whole world seems to be focused on the bad and defamatory stuff that we write in our 'private space'. What i feel is: If they can sue us for our remarks, why dun they reward us for singing their praises? Wun tt b fair then?

At the rate that tis witchhunt is gg, there wld b an exodus of THINKING bloggers (not tt i profess to b one)! No one wld dare to comment anything of value..everything that wld b posted will b brainless stuff, that wld not even be worthy to pen our thoughts down.

I propose that we start a campaign..whenever any of us wants to write anything that may not be politically acceptable to 'them', we shall sing their praises to the sky! then everyone will know that what we actually mean is the exact OPPOSITE! if 'they' should stumble onto the blog, then they wld not be able to sue for any remarks made as everything said is 'positive' even if what we mean is the opposite. This argument will work in court, right? As long as there isn't any prima facie evidence that we mean to defame, the lawyers can't argue otherwise?

In today's Today, extracted from the interview of a women's activist, '...there are many ways to tell the truth. Our young men nowadays are very FRAGILE. Perhaps they feel threatened by women. So, go out there and lose your arguments to win a man.'

In line with my previous post, i am just wondering if this FRAGILITY can be taken too far? what happened to the 'weaker sex'?

Aniwae, in a bid to win our man, we have to lose the arguments? N tis is cuming from the mouth of a women's activist? It amazes me..but i suppose wat she is advocating is noeing when to be soft and submissive when the need arises, instead of bruising and 'hum- dum'ing the male ego all the time. so, dun worry, guys, i will stroke yr ego in future!! =)

Shall continue tis post later after lunch...work cums 1st!

Interpreting words and actions

Soliciting views and opinions here, esp from a guy's perspective:

If a guy was to ask a gal if she likes him, what is the guy's motive or mentality?

What if it was asked in a joking manner?

I have JUST realised that i may have missed a chance, depending on the answer to the above question.

Just for interest's sake, what should a gal answer in the same situation? take it that the gal likes the guy, but obviously being gals, we weren't want to be in such a 'throw face' situation that we answer 'yes'. so how?

Shldn't such a question not be asked in the 1st place? I mean, it got me tinking that the guy is very egoistic and think very highly of himself!

in any case, it doesn't matter animore since tis happened more than a yr ago.

haiz...regrets...=*)