Misdirected anger

I wonder if my spurts of anger last week were directed at S or myself. Truth is I kinda blame myself for S's predicament, cos even if I am not the one who made the decision, I sorta influenced S's decision by what I said 2 yrs ago.

I can't help but rem K's words 2 yrs ago on why I thought the path I recommended was better than the other path. Words that are ringing in my mind for the past week. I feel guilty as hell, and my hands are tied. I simply can't do anything to help, not anything within my means anyway.

I know S feels bad and that is logical, cos if I am in her position, I will tink that it's the end of the world. How can I continue being brave when it seems that my world is collapsing around me?

Wallowing in self-pity isn't the solution, yet the other part of me wants to scream at the world/society for being unfair. Why isn't S being given a chance at all? Why does everything that can go wrong always go wrong in her case?

I tried thinking Ah-Q, in the sense that this may not be bad. I.e. the adage that the farmer whose son lost a leg and thus could not farm, was also not sent off in the war. But I fail to see what good can come out of this.

Perhaps S's path isn't as smooth as other people and that cannot be helped. But I wish I can do sth more concrete to help.