' I do not neccessarily like what the illness does to her, but she is the one i love. That is the motivating force of my life.'

A Quote from a Great Man

"You are not here merely to make a living.

You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply,
with greater vision,
with a finer spirit of hope and achievement.

You are here to enrich the world,
and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand."

by Woodrow Wilson
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I shall strive not to forget the quote. I wun let things get me down again, cos after all, my purpose in life is not to b luved by everyone (although it will b nice if that is true).

What's my own unhappiness as compared to the pain n suffering of others around us? Let's look at the big picture instead...no one can hurt me if i dun allow them to. n come on, i m a big gal already...surely i will know how to deal with setbacks by now. just smile n look ahead for the sunshine to fall upon me again!

Smilez! =)

Assortment of Posts

6 days at work..effective tally of work done is as follows:

1. Analyse who's the Closest competitor to a company, and showing support for such a decision, complete with accting numbers and ratios e.g. cash ratio; current ratio; net profit margin, just to list a few (u guys wun b interested aniwae.)

2. Casting done for another company and 3 of its divisions.

Tt's it..nothing else was done. Oh yah, i attended 2 meetings too, in which i did not exactly know what was gg on, except tt i had to intro myself to the rest of the department.

oh well, i guess i will hv more tings to do next wk n i can better gauge wat's gg in the meetings soon too.
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i hv certainly NOT learnt the art of attraction/seduction/flirtation in real life, although i tink i do rather well online in msn. =)

Tink i hv inferiority complex. hard to believe for most of u, i guess.

somehow when pple i do not noe very well, find out about my weakness(es), i feel vulnerable n start closing myself mentally to them, n i start tinking tt they wld not want to b frens (or more) with me. even if they do, i start doubting their reasons for doing so.

i realised it's no way to live, cos i can't b tt close-minded, n i can't hv any more 'real' frens. but it gets kinda depressing...mayb i m too sensitive or overly suspicious.

i act feel tt attitudes hv changed towards me after they found out. from being eager to entertain me on msn n being enthusiastic to go out, n finally to watching a movie on sat, the process has been quick. but there's no post-outing jubilance. m i being too sensitive or do i expect too much, or was my attitude too cold, since i noe they noe?

there was no 'thks for outing' or 'gdnite' sms, n till now, no sms has came in. perhaps i read too much, or it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

m i disappointed? i wld b lying if i said no. but wat i m even more disappointed about is the feeling tt i must live my life as a lie, to present the nicest n most glamorous aspect of me all the time in the beg, until pple noe me well enuff, b4 i can even let my weakness show remotely.

perhaps i wld never trust anyone after this..but who m i kidding? i hv such thots since time immemorial. i dun noe if it's others who close their minds to me, or i m the one to write them off 1st. perhaps it's both, but i do so only bcos i dun want to b hurt 1st.

perhaps i hv not learnt how to take tings in my stride. instead, i prefer to perpetuate a false image..but tis society is so shallow. for all the talk of charity n how this is an all-inclusive society, i seriously do not tink tt it's the case.

i mean, come on, who wld u choose btw a normal person with same intellect and seemingly everything else that someone else with a slight appearance defect has? the answer is clear if u aren't lying.

i shed tears, not for myself but for the pathetic world we live in. Is this what we inculcate in our young? But on reflection, perhaps it's only the human nature that i can fault, for ain't i the same kind of person deep inside?

so i will continue my life's journey, heading forward bravely, though it's a rocky path in front. But i wonder if i m doing so only bcos i noe tt heading backwards is no better way, as i will b retracing the hurt n disillusionment that accompanied me.

(Not) Growing Up

In line with Aki's latest blog post, i wanted to add my thoughts and feelings about entering this new phase of our lives.

unlike most of u, i can be said to hv entered tis new phase since a yr ago. however, i do not feel any more adjusted than u pple.

perhaps it is due to my path deviating from most pple i noe in Accts. tis may or may not b a gd ting. i noe i hv mentioned time n again tt i m not gg to allow myself to compare, cos after all, once we start comparing, there's no end to tis bottomless pit. in any case, yah, there's tis feeling of uncertainty for the path i m on.

humans do not like changes. or at least i dun. entering my 4th dae at work n yet i do not feel reassured of the road tt lies ahead. but then again, nobody wld ever really noe wat lies ahead cos tt's the future.

life's about managing ourselves more than others. managing our expectations on our lives; coping with changes tt may or may not b expected; taking watever hand tt fate deals us in our stride.

perspective is imp, but tt doesn't mean tt one can b brave ALL the time. never in my life hv i felt so uncertain..to copy the title from Britney Spear's song: I m not a girl, not yet a woman.

tis may b ridiculous, considering my age. but then again, it's not about the quantifiable age.

yes, i may hv been too sheltered and protected my whole life tt i m now reluctant to leave the cocoon n brave the world and its elements.

but i dun hv much of a choice do i? i can only take comfort tt tings can only get better. n even if they dun, i shall chalk it all up at life's experiences.

n thru it all, i m most consoled tt i hv a gang of gd frens to accompany me on tis life's journey, to grow up with me tog, to accept me for who i m, to help me thru my struggles, who wld never judge me for the person tt i m not.

So yah, let's grow up tog! =)

Why Am I Still Single?

You are still single because you are afraid you
might get hurt, inside you, you are very
romantic but you never show it, cuz you don't
want someone to play with your feelings, you
like your parner to be understanding and
patient, someone who cares about you, deep
inside knows that you will find them one day.

http://quizilla.com/users/PrEtTyMaYa000/quizzes/Why%20are%20you%20still%20single%3F%20(girls%26%20guys)/

The Weekend

This has been a very eventful and exciting weekend for me! (umm, my wkend starts from fri evening after work.)

Fri evening:
After the excitment of starting work at a new workplace, where i discovered the joys of NOT charging time, the gang and I met up for dinner at Thai Express.

i still tink tt the mgr was abit ke lian, considering he was so sincere n all in his apologies. i feel almost bad for pretending to b 'buay3 song4'. hahaha..his luck for tt dae not very gd lor...

so happy (n relieved) to c Vin after a long while, considering tt i didn't go to his hse for visitation, n wat i heard of his well-being is only from other frens. it is better to c tt he is well in person, despite the bombastic medical terms used on his ailment.

had a chat with Spinkypinkie on the job arena too. much easier to convey thoughts face-to-face rather than email.

learnt tt my sis n i shared the same 'vibes' (not looks!).

Sat:
Met up with part of the gang (again) to catch Mr and Mrs Smith.

Was remarkably impressed by MacDonald's. Ok, call me suaku, but i hvn't eaten Mac for a really long time, n to get an Extra Value Meal with Sundae at $5.10 is a good deal to me! usually, we try to get by ordering the student's value meal at $3.95, which is really small, cos it's small coke and fries. =p

watch hunt: seriously, i m pretty happy with the watch tt Spinkypinkie n i ended up with - hers black, mine pink. in fact, i m wearing my watch now. i feel much more comfortable with a watch n noeing the time. cos for the past 2-3 weeks, i hvn't been wearing a watch, as my watch face was spoilt. n i m 1 gray piece fatter than Spinky...big surprise...=p

ok, for the movie, i was quite impressed with how sexy she looks, n handsome he looks. wrong choice of word..not IMPRESSED, but LOVE their looks. the movie was good, except tt i didn't like the part where the fight was gg on with the cars moving backwards. got a major headache after tt...so tt's bad.

dinner with family after tt...nothing eventful, but i do feel a wee bit guilty for not eating with my parents often enuff. as in i eat with them, but dun really eat WITH them, if u get wat i mean. but i suppose if i shld feel guilty, my sis ought to b shot. hahah..

Sun:
Went for ktv at No. 1 Neil Rd, The One. tis ktv place is pretty cool n clean. if u ignore the cigarette smell which permeates the room (although no one was smoking), it's really quite classic. the rms r colour-themed n there r roses hung on the walls. but the toilets were a wee bit squeezy, as in if there r 3 pple in the 2 cubicle toilet, there wun b much space to turn yr bum. hahah...

choice of songs wasn't tt updated, so tt's bad. but there was also JOURNEY! on the whole, i tink tis ktv is meant for families, cos i saw quite a no of 3-generation families singing.

rite, now it's Monday! n it's back to work!! i m still doing nothing in particular, n i discovered tt work doesn't start on the dot at 8.30am!

rite, till later! Tata, pple!

Blogging at New Work Place

Hooray! My new workplace has internet access to blogspot!

Aniwae, since we will be meeting up later tonite, i shan't blog too much now. another reason is of cos, it isn't very nice to blog at work.

just wanted to say i survived my last day at DT, and i m now sitting at my new workstation! i will b here for the next few weeks, thereafter wld get posted out.

ok, till later...

'Blog'saver Mode

This is getting way too difficult to upkeep, considering that i have no access to blogspot when i am in the office, which is a good portion of the day, when u deduct time for sleeping, meals and other basic maintenance time for humans (meaning 'recharging time' = TV time).

so i hv cum to tis decision that tis blog shall b in 'blog'saver mode, effective immediately. so i wun b updating this regularly, at least until i start work at my new place, to c if an exec's com at the said place has internet access, n more importantly, net access to the appropriate websites.

which also means tt i hv to pass on the TV and Food Batons, much to my regret.

in any case, the fact tt tis blog may b in 'blogsaver' mode does not mean tt u all can forget about me. for imp stuff, u all can email ok?? for even more imp n pressing matters, u pple can even call me, be it at my hp or hse fone.

or u all can b like stef, who faithfully emails me his blog entries, so tt i still follow wat's happening in everyone's lives. he's the ONLY one who does tis ok...*thks, stef! u r the only one who listened!!*

rite, no big fanfare for the fact tt tis blog is gg into saver mode...just rem to update me on thurs events...thks!

I am SICK!

Yes, i m sick...down with fever, sore throat, slight cough, blocked nose, headache.

I was even giddy after eating the medicine given by the company doctor.

hate being sick..only good thing is i got an MC n caught up on lost sleep. i hate not being able to enjoy my food, when the whole family says that the dishes r fantastic. i act felt tt there was no taste at all, n the meat tasted rubbery.

hoping tt i will get well by tmr, cos i hv a farewell dinner to attend tmr, as well as the Gang's outing on sat.

office life w/o being able to read blogs can b a real whammy. luckily, i didn't hv to catch up with too many blog entries. (sorrie, greenie. i didn't read your lengthy entries on the SIMS game n the family u created, cos they r just too long.)

aki, i m just wondering how long Liang's lunch is? how cum he can leave the office n eat porridge buffet with u all? if life is so relaxed there, i shld hv it gd. hahah...

aniwae, i still do not know wat i will b doing there. 2 more wks to go to a brand new LIFE - new job, new colleagues, new clothes, new shoes, new wallet, new bag...better work-life balance! want to start off brand new! a good start would ensure at least 50% success!! YAY!