I have made some progress
I am able to speak to you without flinching
I don't respond intuitively if someone speaks of you
I am able to treat you like any other person

But I realise that my heart doesn't want my head to do so
It may be dumb since nothing was ever started
I won't go so far to call this love, just an infatuation
If it's meant to be, it will materialise

In the deepest corner of my heart
Much as I hate to admit it
I know that this is because I want to confirm my appeal
That there's nothing wrong with me

I guess I am losing confidence in myself
Especially as things go haywire at work
Nothing is confirmed anymore,
Not my brains, capability or competence

I want to enjoy myself and let myself go
Yet I am so afraid of what I will find at the other end
I want to forget and live simply
Contented with my lot in life