I cried due to work today again.

This reminds me of the time when I was in the Big 4 and bullied by one of the managers.

I hate myself for making mistakes, but I am also human. And I do not have as much experience. I am not absolving myself of blame in today's episode and maybe it really isn't that big a deal.

Unfortunately, the adrenaline of this morning's episode, coupled with a smart aleck's comment for me not to cry started my tearducts going into overdrive.

I admit I am at fault, and yes, the problem has been solved. Yet I can't help but learn from this experience that one need to push off assignments at work. If one does lesser assignments and has less duties, one will obviously make lesser mistakes. It's logical. So no mistakes made means no blame due. So why on earth am I doing so much work for? I should just sit back, relax, watch the show unfold and gloat at those who made mistakes and thank my lucky stars that I continue fading into the background.

But isn't this wrong? Where's the personal integrity and professionalism that one should show at work?

I know I am being childish and crying certainly doesn't solve anything. But I just feel so sad/depressed.

Why was I so caught up in the notions of love (or the lack of it) when luv doesn't feed the stomach?

Maybe I am not cut out for the cold business world.