Chinese New Year Promise to myself

In a Ch8 drama shown yesterday, the male lead told his female counterpart that 'You are like a book. Although the cover of the book may be old and dog-earred, the content in the book is much more important than its outer appearance.'

I thought it was a rather apt sentence to apply in my case as well. With the episode last week still fresh in my mind, I shall once again strive to think more positively.

I have always felt that I am not entitled to choose who I want to love cos of a obvious reason. Friends have repeatedly told me that that is not true at all, since true love conquers all. Yet I persist in maintaining a pragmatic and guarded mindset towards romance.

The episode last week, though not intended in that manner, has reinforced that I have been right in my thinking. I am in no position to choose anyone, but hopefully the special someone will be able to see beyond the cover of the book. I don't hold up much hope, cos I seemed to be valuing myself higher than society's benchmark for me.

I am promising myself this Lunar New Year that I will not degrade myself and feel inferior again. I shall protect myself and be more independent in everything I do. This may be harder than I think it is, but I can only be satisfied with this quiet acceptance of life. Romance may not be something that I can look forward to and so it will be. I am accepting myself for who I am and will not regret whatever that I may never have.