Mixed Feelings

I have just been told that I am possibly the youngest and least experienced to be posted out, which means that my big boss thinks that I am ready to brave the storms and winds out there.

The exact words used were ' You are already making history by being the youngest and least experienced accountant to be sent out.'

I am not exactly sure that it is a good thing, cos it really depends on how you look at it. I can either do very well or very badly, since I may be a guinea pig project of sorts for them.

In any case, my temporary boss told me that he is quite satisfied with me, and in fact, among all the year 1s, I am among the better ones who have a strong grasp of how to write in a 'tight' manner (read: politically correct).

I suppose I should be thrilled, especially considering the fact that I have been thinking that I got posted out because my big boss did not like me much.

Actually, this seems to apply to life in general too. When you are the odd one out, you would think that you are the weird one and think the worse of yourself. Especially when you get remarks that staying on here (and being one of the 'normal' ones), the big boss would be seeing you alot more and thus, it would be easier to rise through the ranks.

This is why I thought that the big boss did not like me much. Now that I am being told the other side of the story, I don't really know what to think. Should I be thrilled that this is my chance to show what i have got or should I be scared that so much is expected of me?

I mean I am supposedly taking over the role of this senior personnel (i shan't mention the rank here for obvious reason)! Stressed! I would rather think that my big boss has left me there to do my part, period. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now, I am being told that I am supposed to help them understand their part in the big picture, helping them to improve their systems and see the importance that everyone plays.

The biggest whammy is that my big boss at the new place and my big boss here aren't exactly on good terms (or so I hear from the grapevine). I am supposed to balance delicately between my duties to both. A real test of human skills, and everyone knows that I am not all that people-oriented.

Oh well, I shall conquer the tasks as they come along. Meanwhile, I shall just enjoy this period while I can.